Guidelines and Etiquette

Stomptown is a queer dance community.  We build our community through our shared love of dance and the joy it brings to all of us.  Above all other things we strive to ensure that this space is safe for any and all who choose to join us in community. You are welcome regardless of your gender/gender identity, race, ethnicity, religion, disability, physical appearance, employment status or sexual orientation.

Words matter
Don't use racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, or ableist language. Respect pronouns.

Event Policies
Please be aware that we may be taking pictures or recording video at our dance events. Your picture may be taken and used for future marketing and promotional purposes.

Good to Know

When should I arrive?
Stomptown always starts the 7:30pm lesson on time! Of course we will help folks join in during the lesson, and anyone (new or not) can show up at any time during the social dance, but for the best experience it's best to arrive prior to 7pm and be ready to go at the start of the lesson.

Do I have to bring a partner?
Totally not! This is social dancing for our community.

What should I wear?
People come to Stomptown in all kinds of outfits, from your basic queer plaid flannel button down, to I-came-directly-from-work, to yoga pants, to sparkly shirts and twirly skirts and glittery makeup. Many people will break a sweat dancing, so layers, tank tops, and waterproof makeup are often great choices.

What about shoes?
So glad you asked! All of the dance styles we do are best done in slick-soled shoes. Leather soles are wonderful and will be physically easier for most people, or soles of thin rubber that is worn down and not sticky as a second choice. Your brand new sneakers might be fly as hell but are going to make your job dancing much harder.
We may have a limited number of pairs of "dance socks," slippery fabric that goes over your regular shoe at the ball of your foot, to loan to newcomers without slick soled shoes.

How do I know if I should lead or follow?
You don't have to pick, it's totally cool to be bi-danceable or ambi-dance-trious or, you know, just experimenting.
During the lessons, it's best to pick one and stay with it for the entire lesson, to help with the flow of the class. But during the social dance you can certainly switch it up! Most experienced dancers in our community both lead and follow, even if they prefer one over the other.
It's respectful to ask, even if you've seen someone dancing another role earlier in the evening.
If you only feel comfortable in dancing one role, say so upfront.

What if no one dances with me?
That..... almost certainly won't happen. We can't absolutely promise that though, because we believe everyone gets to consent to who they dance with, but we can say that's never happened so almost definitely won't this time.
At most of our dances there are designated Dance Fairies on hand to help newcomers integrate- they will likely say hi to you, ask you to dance, and/or talk your ear off about dancing.

How do I ask someone to dance?
In English is probably going to be the most clear for the most people at this dance. Not everyone reads body language or eye contact the same, so saying, "Would you like to dance?" is a great way to ask. Follows can certainly ask leads to dance! Please don't make me even say that people of any gender can ask people of any gender to dance.
To increase your odds of a yes answer, you can look for the Dance Fairies- they will be wearing glittery armbands and their task is to help new dancers integrate, so while they are still not required to say yes to every ask, your odds are good.

How do I say no if someone asks me to dance?
"No" or "No thanks" is a great answer, and is all you need to say.
If there is a specific reason for your no, and you'd like this person to ask you again, you can add that information- "I don't know how to swing, but you could ask me for the next two-step?" or "I'm going to take a break right now, but I'll come ask you or you can ask me a little later" or "This song makes me sad, maybe the next song?"
If someone tells you No. Respect the decision and ask someone else.
No one is obliged to dance with you just because you ask.

I'm still nervous! What if I look silly?
We all started somewhere! If you learn from video and want a head start, take a look at our website, stomptown.org under the "Instructions" tab to get an idea of what the dances look like.

Respect Boundaries Everyone's boundaries are different. If anyone says you are making them uncomfortable, respect their personal space.

Consent

When joining into a partner dance it is important to always be modeling consent.  As such, before making any physical contact, and if space allows before entering someone's personal space even, seek, and receive, specific positive consent to dance with them.  Keep in mind that each individual dance, that is each song danced to, should have its own consent negotiation.  Remember that someone can revoke consent at any time for any reason and if they agree to one dance that does not imply or mean that they have consent to any other dances or activities.  Making Stomptown space means that it has to be safe to say no so please handle rejection with the grace, gentleness, and style to which we all aspire to and fight for.

Physical Boundaries

When engaging in a partner dance you should expect some amount of physical contact with your dance partner.  Our dances should not involve contact outside of specific areas.  This should include and be limited to the hands, arms, front and back of the shoulders, and occasionally the hips.  As always your body is your own and please feel confident and empowered to tell your partner if you do not want to be touched in a particular way.  Not everyone can perform every move you might want to do in a particular dance and if you're asked not to do a thing or touch a place please respect the wishes of your partner.

Dancing can be very intimate, both with our dance partners and in our relationship to our own bodies.  Many Queer and Trans folk have long tried to hide or blend in by now owning space in their bodies or feeling connected to their bodies. Dancing has been for many a first opportunity to really celebrate their body as is. This can bring up a lot of different feelings and we at Stomptown are committed to keeping this space safe for people's myriad of emotional experiences as they join this community. 

Emotional Boundaries

Dancing can be an emotionally charged activity.  As a community we want to ensure that everyone can participate to their level to have as much fun as they can handle.  If someone finds a particular song overwhelming, or is caught by surprise and needs to step back please respect that, and if they express a need for help please flag down a Dance Fairy or other volunteer for assistance.  Dance Fairies can be identified by the (fabulous) [ITEM TBD] that they wear.  

Queer spaces are fundamentally different from their hetero equivalents.  So it is especially important for us to protect and care for each other in these spaces by checking in with our partners and others around us to ensure that we are all having the best time possible as we build queer community together.  For some, Stomptown might be their only opportunity to join in queer community and it is important that each person who joins us feels connected to us and what we are doing.

Red Wristbands

Stomptown provides red wristbands as an additional visual marker.  If someone is wearing a red wristband this means that they have chosen not to engage in open social dancing and wishes to only dance by themselves or their predesignated chosen partners.  Please respect this boundary and do not approach them to ask for a dance.